Style And Substance: <a href="http://www.diveinkbooks.com">Published By Dive Ink Books</a>

Wednesday, July 25, 1990

Published By Dive Ink Books



STYLE AND SUBSTANCE


The style and substance of his classic grace
Brought the quickest smile to my face
His sounds rang out true, and I was so moved
As to offer up what was for me a rare favorable review

Such musical delivery, and what magical intensity
And all from a person living in a tent city
A lucky find, this beggar, a dying man in the rough
But when for him would enough be enough?

My entourage and I enjoyed his performance so inventive
Acting with mere dimes and quarters as his only incentive
Playing a homeless, blind cripple? I certainly thought not!
He deserved far better parts, and I told him so on the spot

1



KILLER COLUMBUS


In fourteen hundred and ninety-two
Killer Columbus shamed oceans blue
As well as gray skies, which often wept
He'd butcher brave natives as they slept

Queen Isabella thought him nutty
Nevertheless, she handed him money
For a trip that good men don't accept
He'd butcher brave natives as they slept

He was Italian - the Queen - from Spain
Their combination would bring much pain
By his twisted creed, sad slaves were kept
He'd butcher brave natives as they slept

Columbus, a dolt who'd lost his way,
Named his victims as if in Bombay
His "Indians" - they fearfully stepped
He'd butcher brave natives as they slept

2



JOAN MOAN


Our sour,
Martyred, marked bird
Joan of Arc in the dark
Tied to a post for her own roast
Past a boil, it was a torture most royal
The short-haired saint spilled her sweet blood-red paint
Legends are not few of how she did stew
While sadly aching and slowly baking
Away so well in flames of hell
Joannie's luck really sucked
Her meat a treat
For four

3



LETTER TO LINCOLN


Gracie Bedell told Abe that all the ladies like whiskers
"And they would tease their husbands
To vote for you and then you would be
President
My father is going to vote for you
And if I was a man I would vote for you, too

But I will try and get everyone to vote for you that I can
I think that rail fence around your picture
Makes it look very pretty
Whiskers? Having never worn any, do you not think
People would call it a piece of silly affectation if I
Were to get my male relatives to begin them now?"

Would cosmetic changes somehow save the union?
Beard began, war began, huge pressures, historic heartaches
Scribes will write about you, soldiers will fight over you
Before going to Ford's Theater,
You want to hang out a sign:
Gone Fishin' Forever

4



JOURNEY WITH ERNIE


It was a high hill hike the Heming way
A radical sabbatical, making much hay
A rough trip indeed, he took the lead
Saying his brave breed liked to bleed

For years we got close but at last heard
Sounds from that Grim Reaper bastard
He'd often barely been kept away
Until this awkward future day

Our man went straight to the top on a rifle blast
In the early cool of the morn and so skillfully fast
His last red thoughts went up on his wall to stop
There was no more Papa after that pop

We got heroically drunk that day
Forcefully and manfully we played
And yes, the lumpy bumps in the night did
Look so very much like pink elephants, kid

5



TOP-HEAVY TEMPLES


A plethora of polished pews in pairs
And psychologically pretty prayers
Musty, dark inner-sanctum pulpits
Designed for speeches on chosen culprits

All the paraphernalia collected and inspected
Doused with spicy incense in lace doily reverence
Self-serving suits and ties worn with deadly sinful pride
Envy for Easter, coveting for Christmas, the list is endless

If the great teacher himself ever did return,
He'd be shocked and disgusted to learn
That by wearing his robes of moderation, as was his style
He'd be thrown out of his own house in a manner quite vile

6



SOMEONE ELSE'S DREAM


Coming out of Manny's studio
They get in the Rolls, the guy at the controls
Soon dives under the dash, and almost stops with a crash
Later they're still riding, passing up accidents
Awful severe pile-ups, some of them
They park once to take a man to safety

They are pulling on his blankets too hard, and they apologize
News comes on and tells the injured they are injured
The group soon gets lost in the rundown part of town
They hear all the flat freeway bodies are being held somewhere
Pending official identification of any recognizable parts
Found at the horrible highway scene of the crime

Nameplates on tags on bags on rags
The group feels ripped off when they lose the car suddenly
But then they find it again, still nice and clean and untouched
Even within the rubble of trouble so thick
But they doubt him this time, for the first time, for sure
When Mannie says he thinks he knows the way out

7



THERAPY SESSION THESPIANS


Please don't let this be another
One of those relentless readings
About someone's awful mother
Causing some internal bleedings

Thick as theives support group types,
Playing putrid parts for their wolfpacks
Believing their puff reviews and hype
Spare us from these autobiographical hacks

8



CONNIE DIED FOR DEBBIE'S SINS


Colorful silly varieties fascinated her once
But now nothing was left to give but tears
Connie overdosed
When she thought Debbie was dead
Connie was always such
An over-devoted girlfriend

Debbie was the one with too much on her body
And never enough on her wild and crazy mind
Connie even had a key to Debbie's room
Morning saw Connie face down in the shower
Some things you can't explain away
And with Connie you can say that again

A distorted Debbie reflection, Connie cancelled an awful
Evening that had grown too dark for both of them
Connie found Debbie passed out on drugs at midnight
Connie felt Debbie's hand and felt no Debbie warmth
Connie felt her own death and felt no Connie hope
Debbie woke to find Connie had changed places with her

9



SURE BE DO


Do I want a whole lot of money? Yes, I
Sure be do!
Do I want to go to the circus? Yes, I
Sure be do!

Oh, you say you can't get me any money
And you say you can't get us into the circus
But do I want to goof around with you anyway?
Sure be do!

10



SHOOTER SCRIBE SMITH


Most countries don't seem
To care much for those who dream
Example: it's sad that middle names
Have usually gone this way -
They've been most highlighted
For mainly assassins and writers

11



PLEASE TELL ME


Please tell me at what time
I must be carried on board
The coffee loses its heat
The cigarettes lose taste
I must make haste

I can almost feel myself growing old
But certainly such a thing could not be possible
So I endure more cold coffee and dead smokes
It's too early yet, but I know I do need to leave soon
So please tell me what will be my scheduled departure time

12



SMALL WORDS IN A BIG POND


Experts say just one percent of most shnooks
Ever bother reading poetry books
This includes the total population
Of each and every world nation

But other countries, though they're poor,
At least pursue other kinds of books more
Than does the comparitively rich United States
Which strangely has much lower literacy rates!

The above factual comments mainly were
A free plug about books for every him and her
Wasn't going for any profound irony, really
Just scaring certain lazy folks into reading

13



CALENDAR CURSES


Old man Jan had promised in February that he would
March down the aisle with young April
Though he May marry one of her sisters -
June
Or Julie instead

But he said first he'd consult that August gentleman
Father Time, who could sing a September song
And save him from catching October fever
Or eating a bad Thanksgiving turkey in November
And winding up dead as a door nail by Christmas in December

14



VACANT VOWS


Vows to heaven, vows to hell
Every mouth makes them so well
And much too quickly and freely
When insanely in love, really

They're almost the worst things ever invented
Never reaching full completion, so demented
We are not immortal yet, friends
So why even bother to pretend?

The original will is always eaten away by time
Leaving only the original thought slowly melting in slime
It just sits there, obsolete but stubborn, looking so stupid
Even to that fat little rat by the dumb name of Cupid

15



NONE OF THOSE


Those lovely pet things
You built your castles around for life
That tiny fragile flower
You put on display with a smile
Those cute little nicknacks
Placed on the counter just right
None of those
Lonesome toys so bright
Were what a woman was
On any night

16



ODE TO A NORDIC NYMPH


In such a bittersweet bow
Like a rare work of art
Her honey braids warmly glow
Wrapped 'round my grateful heart

17



THE OLD POLAR BEAR JOKE


A polar bear, who was no wizard
Slowly makes it through the snow
During a very heavy blizzard
As (sort of) pictured below

18



THEY SHOULD BE ASHAMED


These new plastic, very unfantastic film stars
Too soon off the assembly line, in need of a recall
Too soon off the grapevine, aspiring fruitlessly
Appearing so am-bare-assed to be there
In front of everybody watching them

In bed with each other, faking as friends and lovers
Both of them riveted up to the armpits with
The mandatory white morgue bed sheets
The material wrapped as though they were mummies
Supposedly they have just finished making mad love

But here are the same people, only minutes later -
But they're horrified of showing an extra inch of flesh
Smiles are forced back and forth, as they suddenly seem so
Ashamed of their bodies right then, when they should be
Ashamed that they can't act their way out of a cotton cloth

19



THE TOWN


Worrying won't change
The destiny
Of whether you'll be
A king or a slave

Most times the town
Owns you
But sometimes you
Own the town

What kind of day
Are you going to
Help it turn into
Today?

20



ALL IS IN READINESS


The chores have been ducked and chucked
The chickens have been plucked and clucked
The children have been brushed and tucked
The pillows have been stuffed and fluffed

Thanks to your servants' trusty steadiness
Once again, sire, all is in readiness
For you to go right back to bed,
Mr. Sleepyhead

21



TRAVELLERS


Old couple
Shuffling along the road

Single old person
Struggling along the road

White haired couple
Buried along the side of the road

22



TURQUOISE BLUE ENAMEL TANK


One special sunny morning
A turquoise blue enamel tank
Cruised slowly by, like a vision
Conjured from a very different era

A lamentable late fifties leftover, an almost forgotten
Former car of the future, now swimming in newly buffed hot wax
A cavernous convertible craft, boasting the purest white interior,
It seemed to be more than just a chrome-hearted beast

This always vivid memory
Of unmatched perfection
Graciously drifts along
Like visiting royalty

23



RUDE IMAGINING


My pals and I walked out our door
When there was a holdup at the grocery store
And along came this thug
Who'd escaped by giving a cop a slug

He ran along the street
Only to meet
Another cop
Then he hopped

Across a great divide
Over to the other side
Then - I don't know why it was -
But he jumped back across to hit the fuzz

It was plain rebellion
From that rough hellion
Against authority
And he was too dumb to act sorry

24



NORMAL GIRL


Oh, she's a normal girl
Who has always wanted to
Train herself and
Give her pet a makeover and

Mold Mr. Right and
Build some kids and
Raise a nice white
Picket fence and

Hope that if any of it
Starts peeling off
Or coming apart a bit,
The authorities won't notice much

25



THIS FAR


Gimme burgers, give 'er fries
Cokes for both, keep the change, dark eyes
Guess I never thought I'd get this far with my pet
Cross-country curiosity hasn't killed us cats yet

My wife here, I just tell 'er, see?
She buys everything sold by me
I just say, "Drink and eat,
Sit back in your seat!"

So here I go again,
With my little Gwen
And with all her soul
She's always ready to roll

26



THE DARKNESS DIPLOMA


We've just got to be merely marking time here
Because this whole thing actually appears to be
Quite ridiculous when you properly examine it
But most people won't, except for a few writers
Which is why so many of them kill themselves

It's a gruesome kind of graduation after
Seeing the big black hole of nothingness
Where most of the sleeping sheep tell themselves
The true and easy answers exist - baa, baa,
Bah

27



HOW NOT TO MAKE A MOVIE


Mediocre modern movies get sex
Mixed up with high-concept special effects
Making enough cash for even a hog
But they use such low-concept dialogue

"Hold on, now - let me get this straight" -
(Shouldn't have been written crooked)
"I'm getting too old for this stuff" -
(Should've written a younger part)

"Hey! Looks like we've got company" -
(But not a Shakespeare company)
"Guess we'll be stuck here for awhile" -
(That's just how the audience feels!)

28



HOW NOT TO WRITE A SONG


"I woke up in the morning" -
(So when else do most people wake up?
Go back to sleep and dream up something original!)

"I called you on the telephone" -
(Well, what else would you call someone on?
Don't call us, we'll call you - never!)

"I just can't find the words" -
(Okay, write the song when you do finally find them,
that is if you can find the pen and paper!)

"Love - above, arms - charms, fire - desire" -
(Did you know there were other ryhmes than those?
So get a rhyming dictionary or a bus ticket outta here!)

29



HOW NOT TO LIVE A LIFE


Temporary solutions
Are wrongly seen as
Permanent practices

Independent businesses
Are wrongly considered to be
Public utilities

Total luxuries
Are wrongly regarded as
Absolute necessities

Artistic expression
Is wrongly forced into
Predictable categories

30


Copyright © 1990 Edmond Gauthier
All Rights Reserved


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